Summer Never Go in My Room Again
 | This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Total Rickall." Experience free to edit or add to this page every bit long every bit the information comes directly from the episode. |
This article is atranscript of theRick and Morty episode Total Rickall. It is the fourth episode of Flavour two and information technology aired on Baronial 16, 2015.
Transcript
(Smith family unit is eating, Jerry checks his mail service)
Jerry: Steve, I just got a weird e-mail. Did yous buy us airline tickets?
Uncle Steve: Aw shoot, information technology was supposed to exist a surprise! I wanted to thank yous for letting me live here all this fourth dimension, so I'm treating the family unit to a vacation!
Beth: Steve, you're so sugariness!
Morty: Thanks Uncle Steve!
Summer: Best uncle ever!
Uncle Steve: Look out world, the Smith family is goin' to Paris!
Summertime: (offscreen) Yeah! Awesome!
(Rick enters the room, and dumps some very familiar-looking rocks into the kitchen trash)
Jerry: Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash.
Rick: Well, I don't similar your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry. Only life is made of niggling concessions.
Jerry: I, you know what, I-
Uncle Steve: You're gonna land on your feet Jer. Some company out there's gonna give thanks they're lucky stars they hired my little brother.
Rick: Who the fuck are yous?
Jerry: My goofy blood brother Steve. He's been living hither almost a year at present, are you losing your mind?
Uncle Steve: Hey someone's been spending too much time around glowing rocks am I right? (Everybody except Rick laughs, Rick shoots Steve in the head)
(The family unit screams)
Morty: What the hell, Rick? What the hell?
Rick: Everybody just relax for a second. There's no such thing every bit an "Uncle Steve." That is an alien parasite.
(Uncle Steve'south torso turns into a blue and royal worm-like animal, spewing pink liquid all over the table.)
Jerry: But I've known him my whole life!
Rick: No, you oasis't Jerry. These telepathic little bastards, they embed themselves in memories they apply those to multiply, spread out, and take over planets. It's disgusting.
Morty: Steve wasn't real?
Rick: He'south a real piece of shit! This is a big i, someone probably tracked in last week on the bottom of their shoe or on a slice of alien fruit.
Summer: Someone?
Rick: Get off the high road, Summer. We all got pink middle because you won't end texting on the toilet.
Morty: But Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike.
Rick: No, "Steve" put that retentiveness in your brain so he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply. We could be infested with these things, and then we gotta keep an eye out for any zany, wacky characters that pop up.
Mr. Poopybutthole: Ooh wee, whatever y'all want Rick! We're here to help!
Rick: Thanks Mr. Poopybutthole. I always could count on you.
*theme song plays*
Rick: Alright, in that location's six of usa and that's it. Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole, and Summer.
Mr. Poopybutthole: Maybe you got the first one in time Rick!
Rick: Can't afford to hazard information technology.
(Rick presses a button on his watch, all doors and windows in the house are sealed off past nail shields)
Beth: Dad, why does our firm have nail shields?
Rick: Trust me, Beth, you lot don't wanna know how many answers that question has.
Poopybutthole: Ooh, gosh, it feels claustrophobic! Reminds me of that time we all got stuck in the elevator together. Y-- call back that? Later the Hulk musical?
(Flashback: The family is stuck in an elevator. Jerry is wearing Hulk gloves and punching the elevator buttons. Morty is holding his crotch trying not to pee himself.)
Beth: Jerry, buttons don't piece of work better if you hit them harder, and foam fists don't brand you strong.
Jerry: I know. Friends make y'all strong. I watched the same musical you lot did.
Rick: Why couldn't I bring my portal gun?
Morty: Why did all the drinks take to exist actress large? Oh, the Hulk. I merely got that.
Summer: Just pee your pants. I did it the minute we got stuck. (all stare at Summer) Oh, oh, yep, yeah, shame me. At least when I'grand icky, it'southward on purpose.
Mr. Poopybutthole: Oh, yous, nosotros're gonna be fine. I've always been here for you guys, and I always will be. ( chuckles )
Nicky: Somebody call for repairs?
All: Yay! Cousin Nicky!
Nicky: It'due south me, Cousin Nicky. I'm walkin' here! I mean, I'm not. I'm crouched in the elevator shaft, but hey, I'm walkin' here! ( laughter )
(Cut back to the present)
Nicky: Information technology'south true. We really do get into some crazy situations every bit a family, by and large when we're cooped upwardly similar this. Hey, perhaps Mr. Poopypants is right. L-let's get some fresh air.
Morty: Come on, cousin Nicky. Y'all heard Rick. We accept to stay quarantined until nosotros know that in that location's no more of these things.
Nicky: I hear you, Morty. Dorsum in Brooklyn, we got a sayin' -- "we're walkin' here!" ( laughter )
Jerry: Nicky! (Rick shoots Nicky in the shoulder, and he reverts back into a parasite)
Nicky: Oh! ( gasps ) ( groaning )
Morty: What the...? Cousin Nicky was a parasite?!
Rick: Half-dozen, Morty! At that place'south supposed to be six of us! If at that place's 7, then that means somebody's not real.
Beth: Only how did you know information technology was Nicky?
Rick: I guessed. That's why I aimed for his shoulder.
Beth: So we tin can't trust any of our memories now? Nicky was the reason we found that onetime nazi submarine. Did that not even happen?
Jerry: Well, of course information technology happened.
(Flashback: Morty, Rick, Jerry, Beth and Nicky are tied upwardly, a Nazi stands before them)
Nazi: Now that I possess the mighty staff of Rah-gubaba, the earth will tremble before the Fourth Reich!
Morty: This is the last time I enquire yous for assistance on my history last, Rick.
Nicky: Hey, nosotros got a word for Nazis back in Brooklyn, pal.
Nazi: I'm comfortable being called a Nazi. You remember in that location's some other word that will hurt my feelings? (Hits Nicky on the head) Yeah. Think before you talk shit. Rah-gubaba, assist me kill America! (Mr. Beauregard knocks out the Nazi)
All: Mr. Beauregard!
Mr. Beauregard: Subsequently due consideration, I have elected not to retire.
All: Yeah! Oh, thank god!
Mr. Beauregard: Now, I believe someone has a final examination to attend. Set a course for Morty's high school.
(Return to the present)
Mr. Beauregard: Perhaps I'thousand biased, simply if that story never happened, then I wouldn't still be the family butler. ( chuckles ) dare to dream.
Rick: Look.
Summer: And if Mr. Beauregard wasn't our butler, it's safe to say the family'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble. ( laughter )
Rick: No! Don't flashback!
(Flashback: Jerry has his head stuck in the staircase railing)
Summer: You lot're just gonna brand more swelling.
Beth: Don't worry, Jerry. Just relax. We chosen the fire section.
Jerry: You know they won't come up here anymore. ( grunting )
(Mr. Beauregard pours marmalade on Jerry and his caput slips out, all gasp )
Mr. Beauregard: Marmalade is served. (everybody thanks)
Frankenstein: I guess I take back what I said about British cuisine. ( laughter )
(Flashback: Rick, Summer, and Mr. Beauregard are having a pillow fight)
Rick: Take that!
Sleepy Gary: We're trying to slumber.
(Flashback: Morty is in the living room with Beth, Jerry, and Sleepy Gary)
Morty: I don't want to go to the dance solitary.
Mr. Beauregard (Off-screen): Then perhaps, you shouldn't.
(Mr. Beauregard appears, in a wearing apparel)
Beth: Aww. Mr. Beauregard.
Mr. Beauregard: Shall we, master Morty?
Morty: We shall.
Beth: Oh, wait, don't get out without letting Photography Raptor have a film. ( raptor screeches ) ( photographic camera shutter clicks )
( cut back to the present, laughter )
Rick: Everybody stop remembering! These parasites are like bed bugs, and every flashback is another mattress. Look! There's merely supposed to exist six people in this business firm.
Simply there's e'er been x.
Rick: No! Uh, the fact that I wrote this number down ways that there'south four parasites.
Frankenstein: Y'all sure about that, Rick?
Mr. Beauregard: Begging your pardon, chief Rick, simply I seem to call back a great deal of defoliation surrounding that number.
Rick: All correct, there'south half-dozen of u.s., ( belches ) and that's it. Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole, Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary, Photography raptor, Mr. Beauregard, and Summertime.
Beth: Uh, dad, that's similar 10 people.
Rick: six, ten, what'due south the difference? I but love the number 6 for no reason! Where'due south my pencil at?
Pencilvester: Right here, Rick! Use me!
Rick: Oh, thanks, Pencilvester! (writes the number 6 again) Yes,I-I g-- I approximate that is what happened, but I-I don't get why I would do that.
Pencilvester: Everybody makes mistakes, Rick. Why do you think I have one of these? ( laughter, camera shutter clicks )
Beth: That's it. Photos. Hard evidence. (Beth scrolls through photos, becomes suspicious) You're not in any of my photos, Mr. Poopybutthole.
Mr. Poopybutthole: Well, what exercise you know about this? You lot're not in whatsoever of mine.
Summer: All I have are pictures of me and my friends from schoolhouse. (everybody else stares at Summer) What? What teenage daughter has pictures of her family unit? Information technology's non similar nosotros're Mormon or dying.
Frankenstein: I volition admit information technology's suspicious that Summer'south only friend is a magic ballerina lamb that we've never seen.
(Summertime flashes back: Summer is asleep in her room and Tinkles flies in.)
Tinkles: Summer!
Summertime: Tinkles! It's past my bedtime.
Tinkles: ( giggles ) Not in never by bedtime land! Here we go!
(Tinkles grabs Summer's paw and they fly out the window. A musical montage begins.)
♪ Summer and Tinkles ♪ ♪ friends with each other ♪ ♪ living in never by bedtime land ♪ ♪ no kitchen sinkles ♪ ♪ no lilliputian brother ♪ ♪ going to raves and waving our hands ♪ (Rapper rapping ) ♪ Summer and Tinkles, friends to the end ♪ ♪ group text the whole crew, my motherfuckin' friends! ♪ ♪ ketchup to the common salt, salt to the fry ♪ ♪ "t" to the "inkle" with a capital "I" ♪
(Scene cut's back to Summer's bedroom, revealing that she was just dreaming)
Summertime: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Gary: Summer, we're trying to sleep.
Summer: Information technology was Tinkles! Tinkes?
(Cut back to the present)
Rick: That is su-- [belches] -- suspicious. Nosotros're always hearing virtually this Tinkles character, but we never get to –
Tinkles: Hello, everybody. I'm Tinkles, and these are my friends. ( all sigh )
Summertime: See, anybody? Tinkles is real. That ways then am I.
(Anybody except Rick apologizes to Summer)
Frankenstein: I was on the wrong side of the pitchfork on this one.
Jerry: Okay, look, we shouldn't need evidence or logic to know who'southward family unit and who isn't. I know who the Smiths are. I've known Beth since high school. And her husband, Sleepy Gary, is hands downwards my absolute best friend.
Sleepy Gary: Thanks, Jerry. Beyond that, no offense to whatsoever of y'all, only all bets are off.
Rick: Wait, I'm not used to existence this unsure for this long. I'm just gonna aim for shoulders starting with the weird daughter. (Tries to shoot Summertime)
Summertime: Aah! Grandpa Rick!
Rick: (with air quotes) Hold still, "Summer."
Gary: Rick, that is my daughter.
Rick: Oh, yeah? Well, what if you lot just think that, Sleepy Gary? I've known you lot for 15 years. Don't make me hurt you.
Sleepy Gary: Rick, these are our family and friends, the people nosotros barbecue with. Accept y'all forgotten the barbecue?
Rick: Expect, why would you desire me to -- You're one of them, aren't yous?
Hamurai: Rick, yous love those barbecues, Rick. You lot honey them. Hai!
Amish Cyborg: Call back it, Rick?
Rick: Shut upwards, Hamurai! Close upwardly, Amish Cyborg! What is this? '90s Conan?
All: Remember the barbecue. Remember the charcoal-broil. Remember the barbecue.
( chatter )
Rick: You know what, Pencilvester? It took me my whole life to realize information technology, simply I beloved barbecuing.
Pencilvester: Yous're good at it, Rick.
Rick: Watch me, infant. I'thousand similar Tom Cruise from, um, "Cuisine" or w-whatsoever that movie's called where he makes drinks. Aye, check me out. I'm similar Tom Prowl from "Cuisine." ( chuckles ) Yeah. Is that what it's called? "Cuisine"?
Pencilvester: Wow! Hey, everybody. Let'south give it up for the grill main, Rick! Rick! Rick! Rick! ( all chanting "Rick" )
Rick: Wait. (cut back to the nowadays, breathing heavily ) Noooooo! Shoot. Now wait. It's like a "Where'south Waldo?" page. Tin you find me? Check out all these zany characters. Nosotros'll be correct back after these messages.
Sleepy Gary: I recollect you should put down the gun and we should get y'all to a md. What do you say nosotros accept down these smash shields?
All: Aye.
Rick: Tin can't practice that, Sleepy Gary. All right, everybody mind to me. I don't know if any of y'all guys are real, simply this house has been infested with fake loved ones that spread through fake memories, and our planet will be destroyed if they exit. ( grunts )
Pencilvester: But Rick, even you have to admit you do tend to overreact to stuff.
(Flashback)
Rick: Yous guys, nosotros got to hurry. I just got back from Walmart. They're selling Nintendo 3ds systems for $149.99 on sale, plus every time you buy 1, you get a $50 souvenir card. Brings the total price downward to $110 later taxation. Now, listen, we tin can flip those sons of bitches for 230 bucks apiece like shooting fish in a barrel! They're all express-edition "Zelda" ones. Bustle! Hurry! Come up with me! We can be rich, and we also all get to continue one and nosotros can play Nintendo games! Nintendo, give me free stuff.
(Cut back to the present)
Rick: Okay, yes, I definitely recall doing that, but also, I would never do that.
Pencilvester: Don't overreact, Rick.
Jerry: Sleepy Gary, a word?
Sleepy Gary: Sure, Jerry. Rick, keep a level caput, okay? 'Cause I'll tell you a hush-hush about Frankenstein -- He'southward actually Frankenstein's monster.
(Rick looks at Frankenstein, Frankenstein pounds his fist)
Jerry: Sleepy Gary, thou-my head is filled with memories of our friendship. I'm convinced that y'all're Beth's husband and I'm your friend, but if those memories can't be trusted, and so...
Sleepy Gary: Jerry, just say it.
Jerry: Sleepy Gary, how do we know I'm real?
Sleepy Gary: Jesus, Jerry. No, you're real. Hey, look at me. Now, I don't know which mode is up out in that location, but I know u.s., and you're real, Jerry. Call up our vacation?
(Jerry flashes dorsum: Jerry and Gary are relaxing on a gunkhole on the coast during a sunset.)
Gary: They're filming that new Star Wars movie downwardly the coast. Should nosotros bank check it out?
Jerry: Sure. Why not?
(Gary drinks, Jerry drops his canteen. Both he and Gary reach for information technology and their hands run across. They expect into each other's eyes.)
Gary: Maybe we'll see Chewbacca.
Jerry: I'd like that.
(They brainstorm kissing and fall out of frame onto the deck of the boat.)
Jerry: What are nosotros doing?
(Cutting back to the present)
Gerry: I don't give a damn what else happens out there. You and I are going to survive this.
Jerry: Okay. Hey, we agreed. Never in the house.
(Transit to the living room, Rick is pointing the gun at random people)
Frankenstein: That'southward a absurd watch there, Rick. Tin I check it out?
Rick: Uh, no thank -- ( grunts ) Okay. Trying to figure out how to lower the blast shields, huh? Everyone hither think information technology's suspicious that a lot of people in here tin't wait to get out of here?
Frankenstein: Ah, you're paranoid, Rick. Y'all've been paranoid since 'nam.
(Rick flashes back: Rick and Frankenstein are in Vietnam)
Rick: So, what are you gonna exercise when you rotate back to the earth, Frankenstein?
Frankenstein: Shi-i-i-i-t. I'mma bosom a -- ( cut back to the present, Rick grunts )
Rick: No! Get out of my head, parasite! No! Drop it. Give me the gun, Frankenstein! ( indistinct shouting ) Requite it back!
All: Yeah! ( applause ) Frankenstein!
Rick: ( animate heavily ) Is anyone hither even real? Am I the only existent person on world?!
Reverse Giraffe: Maybe. Or maybe, just possibly, we're all real. You know me. I'm opposite giraffe. I have a short neck and legs. I went to higher with Hamurai.
Hamurai: Hai!
Contrary Giraffe: I saved Ghost In A Jar's life in Vietnam.
Ghost in a Jar: Boo rah!
Reverse Giraffe: And Beth, how many times have I been a shoulder for you to cry on?
Beth: ( sighs ) Likewise many.
Contrary Giraffe: Okay, and then maybe nosotros're just all fake.
Mrs. Refrigerator: That don't make no sense!
Contrary: Giraffe: Or maybe, there'southward only one deceiver here -- The person that keeps telling united states of america the path to salvation is being held prisoner and mistrusting each other.
Rick: Hey, don't blame me! I tried to shoot Summer 10 minutes ago!
Reverse Giraffe: I know we all have honey memories of Rick, but are we really supposed to believe that a mad scientist inventor with a flight car merely showed upwards on our doorstep after being gone for years?
Morty: Yeah, yous know, he does have a lot of actually weird, made-up sounding catchphrases.
(Flashback)
Rick: Wubba lubba dub dub! Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch! And that's the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes. Striking the sack, jack. Uh-oh! Somersault jump. Aids! And that'due south why I always say shum shum shlippedy dop! Grassss tastes bad-ah. No jumpin' in the sewer. Burger time! Condom baby babe bunkers! Lick, lick, lick my balls! ( laughs ) aye! Say that all the time.
(cut back to the present) All: ( muttering ) That's a fake-ass catchphrase right there.
Beth: And don't forget his incredibly vague dorsum story.
Rick: Beth, I'm your father!
Beth: Oh, are yous, dad? Are you?
Morty: Rick, if you want to evidence yous're existent, just exercise what any of the rest of u.s.a. would practise and -- and -- and open the blast shields and let united states of america the hell out of here!
Rick: Why don't y'all brand me, implausibly naive pubescent boy with an quondam Jewish comedy author's name?
(Everybody is surprised)
Mrs. Refrigerator: In your face!
Morty: Give me the gun. (Looks at everyone else) I'k not doing this in front end of Pencilvester. Bring him to the garage. ( all cheering ) All correct, you lot listen to me, y'all son of a bitch parasite scum. Nosotros could either do this the easy manner or the hard style. Yous know, y-y-y-- do you want to live? Then open the blast shield doors.
Rick: Shut upwardly, Morty, you brainwashed, piffling turd that might not even be real because I'chiliad brainwashed, too.
Morty: Yous know, Rick, this isn't piece of cake for us. You know, westward-we all think you every bit a friend.
Rick: Oh, oh, oh, actually? Well, I remember you as a whiny, petty slice of shit, Morty!
Morty: Oh -- oh, yes?
Rick: Yeah! I've got about a thousand memories of your dumb trivial ass and about six of them are pleasant. The rest is abrasive garbage. And then why don't yous exercise usa both a favor and pull the trigger? Practise information technology! Exercise information technology, motherfucker! Pull the fucking trigger!
(Morty shoots Infant Wizard, Baby Sorcerer screeches )
Duck with Muscles: Oh, wow. Baby Wizard was a parasite? He set me upwards with my wife. (Morty shoots the duck, parasite screeches )
Rick: What the hell?
Morty: I figured it out, Rick! The parasites tin but create pleasant memories. I know you're real because I take a ton of bad memories with you!
(Flashbacks of times where Rick left Morty in despair) ♪ these memories that we accept ♪ ♪ these memories that we cherish ♪ ♪ I wish that nosotros... can get back... to that time ♪ ♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
(Cut dorsum to the present)
Rick: Holy crap, Morty, you're right.
Morty: Is -- is -- isn't that what you were trying to make me understand by yelling at me?
Rick: Well, yeah, duh-doy. T-took y'all long plenty. (Rick turns the dial on the washing machine, the wall draws back to reveal a set up of guns)
Rick: Now allow's go, Morty. We got a lot of friends and family to exterminate. ( grunts )
(Rick shoots a parasite, everybody else screams )
Morty: Everybody remain calm! This is gonna accept some explaining.
Rick: Nosotros need to kill everyone that we tin only remember fondly. Who'south got a bad retentivity near Mrs. Refrigerator?
Mrs Refrigerator: I-I-I-I -- anybody has bad memories of me. You recollect that in one case? (flashback, Beth, Jerry, Mrs. Refrigerator and a lot of other people on a roller coaster, screaming, cutting back to the present) Ooh, man, we couldn't end screaming.
Beth: Uh, roller coasters aren't bad, Mrs. Refrigerator. They're thrilling. And you've been a perfect companion to me my entire life.
Mrs Fridge: The jig is up! ( whimpering ) get me out of here. Get me out of here! Aah! ( screeching ) ( all gasping ) Oh, shit!
Rick: Everybody dorsum! If you lot're not a parasite, you have nada to fearfulness. What about Summer?
Summer: Why am I ever your go-to?
(Morty flashes back: Morty is hosing the backyard. Summer comes outside behind Morty and kicks him betwixt the legs. Morty grabs his crotch and falls over in hurting.)
Summer: Never become in my room over again.
Morty: I didn't!
(Cut back to the nowadays)
Morty: She's existent. She'southward my bitch of a sis.
Summer: Nice.
(Summer flashes back: Summertime walks into her parents' room wearing a dress and earrings with her hair done.)
Summer: Mom, are you driving me to --
(Summertime sees that Beth is lying on the bed, drunk and holding a bottle of wine.)
Beth: Hmm? Aye, yeah, yep. What fourth dimension?
Summer: Oh, my god. Are you drunk?
Beth: (belches) (slurring) What're you lot, my life passenger vehicle?
Summer: Your what?
(Beth rolls over to go out of bed and accidentally hits Summer in the face up with the vino bottle.)
Summertime: Oh! God! Oh. Oh, my gosh. Oh! God! Mom!
Beth: Sweetheart, are y'all okay? I didn't mean to --
Summertime: I'g gonna have a bruise! It's picture day!
Beth: It's non, don't overreact. I can clean it upwards.
Summer: (sobs) I desire the police to have me!
(Cut back to the present)
Summer: Morty, give a gun to the lady that got pregnant with me too early on and constantly makes information technology our trouble.
Beth: Thank you lot, sweetie.
Cross Teddy Bear: Beth, Beth, delight!
Beth: I idea it was besides good to be true that nosotros'd have compatible kidneys. (shoots the bear, parasite screeches ) ( guns cock ) ( screaming ) ( diggings ) ( screeching )
Rick: (Corners Pencilvester) Come on, man. Haven't nosotros e'er had an uncomfortable silence or an awkward fart on a route trip? Come on, Pencilvester. Give me anything.
Pencilvester: Rick, I'm Pencilvester. Listen to that proper noun. You can't kill me.
Rick: You're right. (To Morty) Kill Pencilvester.
(Morty shoots Pencilvester, parasite screeches ) (Summer shoots Frankenstein, parasite screeches ) (Summer shooting, parasites screeching )
Tinkles: Summer, I've always loved y'all!
Summer: Yeah. (Shoots Tinkles, parasite screeches ) ( all gasp, Summertime shoots ) ( more screeching ) (Morty shouts)
(Summer flashes back: Summertime walks into the kitchen and turns on the light, and sees Morty masturbating.)
Summer: Oh, my god!
Morty: I-I-I thought y'all went to a concert!
Summer: We forgot the tickets! Why in the kitchen?!
Morty: I practise information technology everywhere! Stop shaming me!
Summertime: You're not the victim here!
Morty: I detest yous, and I was thinking about your friend Grace!
Summer: Aaaaaah!
(cutting back to the present, more shooting, parasites screeching )
Mr. Beauregard: Ah. Primary Rick. Remember when you weren't going to shoot me? (Rick shoots Mr. Beauregard, parasite screeches )
Rick: I approximate I did the butler! Ha ha! Does -- d-does that scan?
Ghost in a Jar: Oh, I-I get it. It'southward a play on "the butler did information technology."
Rick: Thank you, ghost in a jar. Yous ever were proficient at pointing out potentially obscure comedy. (shoots ghost in a jar, parasite screeches ) ( screeches )
Jerry: Yous got to hide me, Sleepy Gary.
Sleepy Gary: Don't worry. I take a plan. If we can get to my gunkhole, there'due south a -- (Beth shoots Sleepy Gary, Gary slowly turns back into a parasite, screeches )
Jerry: No. No! Transport me to Gary. I want to be with Gary.
(Beth flashes dorsum: Jerry and Beth are running from a homeless human toward their motorcar. Jerry makes it to the car first, gets in and locks the doors. Beth is holding groceries and tries to open the locked car door.)
Beth: Whoa. What the hell?
Jerry: Await out for that homeless guy!
Beth: Open up the door! Open the door! Open the door!
Jerry: There isn't time! Just run!
Beth: ( grunts ) Get out hither and aid me!
Jerry: They say you shouldn't do that! Only run!
(Cut back to the present)
Beth: Ugh. Deplorable, Jerry. You're real.
Jerry: ( crying ) I'm a parasite!
Beth: Aye, but you're real.
Jerry: (tries to buss Beth)
Beth: Uh, uh, I need time to forget nigh Sleepy Gary.
Jerry: Me, too.
( Rick opens the smash shields )
Rick: From at present on, let's all be careful to wash our hands when we get dorsum from outer space. That goes for anybody.
Jerry: This is depressing. We killed every good person in the firm. We're what's left? What a family.
Rick: At least we're existent, Jerry. We're existent. Rikki tikki tavi!
Mr. Poopybutthole: Ooh, whee! Amen to that. Now, this fiddling poopypants is hungry. Will somebody pass me a pork chop? ( chomping )
Mr. Poopybutthole: Huh. I-is -- is something incorrect, Beth?
(Beth shoots Mr. Poopybutthole in the chest, and Mr. Poopybutthole flies into the wall bleeding and screaming, and hits the ground)
Rick: No, Beth!
Mr. Poopybutthole: Oh, fuck.
Beth: Look, but I --
Mr. Poopybutthole: Oh, Beth! Why?!
Jerry: I need an ambulance! There's been a shooting. My wife shot... Uh, my -- my wife shot a long-fourth dimension family unit friend.
Mr. Poopybutthole: Why?
Summer: Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, Mr. Poopybutthole.
Beth: I-I thought --
Morty: Keep animate!
Mr. Poopybutthole: Oh, god. What'due south happening?
Morty: Look at me! Wait at me! Don't -- don't autumn comatose!
Mr. Poopybutthole: Is -- is this what bleeding to death is? Oh, whee. Is this how I die?
Rick: Oh, geez! Oh, my god!
Mr. Poopybutthole: Why would you do this? Beth. Information technology'southward non supposed to hurt. I-I thought... ( siren wails ) Ooh, whee.
(Beth runs into the kitchen and pours a glass of wine, trembling and bawling, getting vino everywhere)
[CREDITS]
(Mr. Poopybutthole is in a hospital doing physical therapy with a nurse as the family watches through a window. Beth is holding flowers.)
Beth: Oh, he -- he's looking a lot better.
Rick: Heed, Beth, don't torture yourself. I made a similar mistake years ago, but, you lot know, on a planetary scale.
Beth: Is, um, is he mad at me?
Rick: He'southward not pressing charges. I mean, that'southward got to be the "you lot shot me" equivalent of non being mad.
(Nurse steps out of the room)
Beth: Tin can he have visitors?
Doctor: He'd like to exist solitary. He told me to tell you he's sorry you didn't have bad memories of him? If you lot beloved him, yous should leave. ( door closes )
(Smith family walks out of the hospital)
Rick: (Smiles) And that'southward the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes.
| v • due east Transcripts | |
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| Seasons | |
| Flavor 1 | Pilot • Lawnmower Dog • Anatomy Park • M. Nighttime Shaym-Aliens! • Meeseeks and Destroy • Rick Potion #nine • Raising Gazorpazorp • Rixty Minutes • Something Ricked This Way Comes • Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind • Ricksy Business concern |
| Season 2 | A Rickle in Fourth dimension • Mortynight Run • Auto Erotic Assimilation • Full Rickall • Get Schwifty • The Ricks Must Be Crazy • Big Trouble In Little Sanchez • Interdimensional Cable ii: Tempting Fate • Look Who's Purging At present • The Wedding ceremony Squanchers |
| Season three | The Rickshank Rickdemption • Rickmancing the Stone • Pickle Rick • Vindicators iii: The Return of Worldender • The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy • Rest and Ricklaxation • Tales From the Citadel • Morty's Mind Blowers • The ABC's of Beth • The Rickchurian Mortydate |
Source: https://rickandmorty.fandom.com/wiki/Total_Rickall/Transcript
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